Although I would much prefer to limit my website to the good side of love, it wouldn't be very realistic. Unfortunately love doesn't always end well...but nowhere does the heart seem to be victimized more than online.
For those of you who are new to the internet and are still "learning the ropes", this page is for you. If you have come online "looking for love" because of all those internet romance stories with the fairytale endings that you've heard or read about, take note: for every successful story you've heard....for every happy ending you've seen a website devoted to.....there are MANY more UNhappy stories and broken hearts that you HAVEN'T heard or read about...but stick around and sooner or later you'll hear them.
I have seen many hearts broken, many times over....mine included....by some of the "players" who come online simply to play games. They will make up false identities....hang around the chat rooms or on chat programs and wait for the perfect person to come along...then, slowly, they will reel them in.
Before you know it, you're hooked...you're "in love"....but are you BOTH "in love" or have you been duped by someone who has their "game" down perfectly? Believe me, there are some BRILLIANT liars out there.
Understand, this page is not meant to deter you from trying to find that "special someone" online. Far from it. Afterall, I found MY mate here.
But this page IS meant to open some eyes to the sad fact that on the internet everything isn't always as it seems. People can type ANYTHING....that doesn't necessarily make it a FACT.
And there are many who seem to believe that just because the other person isn't looking them in the eye they don't have to be honest. These people come from every walk of life, every race, every creed, and BOTH genders. These are the FACTS!!
I once had someone say to me, "The internet is just for fun, for crying out loud! Some people take it too seriously!".
Try telling that to a friend who just found out that the person they have been chatting with for months is already married.
All I know is words can hurt whether they are spoken face-to-face or typed on a screen.
Anyway, the impetus for me to create this page came from an Ann Landers article that was in my local paper today which I will copy here for you to read. If I can save just ONE heart from the heart-wrenching pain that many people have experienced online, it will be worth it.
Be wise, be cautious. If something doesn't "sound" right....if something someone tells you seems "fishy"....if your intuition tells you that something doesn't "click"....PAY ATTENTION. Your gut instincts are probably right.
Dear Ann Landers:
Dear Denver:
I have gotten myself into a ridiculous situation and I don't know how to get out. Please help me.
Six months ago, I bought a new computer. My husband and children taught me how to go online, and I soon began to meet people in chat rooms. It was great fun, but a lot of the men in these chat rooms tried to flirt with me, and some made sexual comments which I found distasteful
I decided to make believe I was a man online and gave myself a different persona. I pretended to be a good-looking male, kind, considerate, polite and gainfully employed. Unfortunately, several of the women I became friendly with thought this would lead to something more. One of these ladies, a widow with young children, fell in love with me.
I have tried to break off this relationship, but she won't let it go. I don't want to come clean, because other people in the chat room will know I lied and I will lose their friendship. This widow is a charming woman, warm and caring, and I enjoy chatting with her, but she will be terribly hurt if I confess what I have done.
Please tell me how to get out of this mess gracefully without ruining my online reputation. I promise never to let it happen again.
Messed Up in Denver
You are not the first person to make up tall tales in a chat room and, unfortunately, you won't be the last. Many people find it easy to reinvent themselves as attractive, rich and young over the internet. At least you have the decency to be ashamed of yourself for the deception.
Tell this woman that you are happily married and not interested in a relationship. (You don't have to tell her your gender.) Then, extricate yourself from this chat room as soon as possible. If you don't want to lose the friendships, go back online as your true self and start over. You'll feel better.
Regarding the above letter
As for her lopsided reason for doing so....ridiculous. Although it is true that people of BOTH sexes are guilty of flirting, there is nothing that says you can't ignore them or tell them to leave you alone. You are on a COMPUTER for heaven's sake! It's not like they're going to come after you if you tell them you're happily married and not interested in playing around. Just be FIRM about it!
There is only a VERY small percentage of people out there who will be persistent about it if you make your feelings very clear....and for those people there is usually an "ignore" option in whatever chat site or program you are running. So making up a fake identity to avoid such things isn't necessary.
So surf...chat...be happy......and to all of you looking for "the one", I wish you the same luck that I and many others have enjoyed here in cyberspace.
Take care!
Littleheart :o)
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